Letters from the Switched on "A Weighty Issue" issue

Dear Switched-On mopes,

I am not a size 0. In the real world, not that many people are. But if you're not that small, at my school, you aren't girlfriend material, you're friend material. I'm not large, but my bones won't EVER let me look that small. The big frustration now is that there IS a boy I like, but because of the rules at our school, no way would he think about me. I think about him, though. All the time. I can't hear another story about how much he likes some other girl. I want to write him an anonymous letter. Should I?


Signed,
Not tubby

Dear nt,

Sorry nt. When people make stupid decisions, as a group, sometimes it's hard for single people in the group to change that. Not everyone is that strong. If he still sees you as a friend, he may need time to step back and see you any other way. Time you can spend showing him how much fun it is to be with you. You may want to put a timeline on it, though, say 6 months. If he hasn't figured out how great you are in that time, maybe he's not quite smart enough for you. And the big problem with an anonymous letter is if you expect any ACTION from the letter. If you do, you may want to trim down the information in the letter and put your name on it. It may be a great letter- he may love it. If he has no one to respnd to, you will never know what he really thinks.

Switched On,

I don't want to like Paris Hilton but I sort of have to now. This is because we have the same bodytype. Everyone knows it and whenever they want to insult me they just insult her. It makes it easy for people to say I'm anorexic or bulimic or have some other problem without knowing anything about me. My doctor says I'me perfectly healthy for my height, weight appropriate and everything. I don't go out of my way to look like this. I just do. What can I say to the people who insult her and me by default?

Signed,
Just svelte

Dear Just,

Well, that sounds frustrating. First of all, exactly what your doctor told you is probably what you want to have on hand when people harass you. Not everyone looks the same naturally. It would be a pretty dull world if we all did. It would be a pretty nice world, though, if people stopped using those differences as a way to annoy each other rather than celebrate each other. I guess, while we can't make other people do that, one thing we CAN do is to show by example, how we are prepared to celebrate other people's diversity. Maybe if the people around you heard how easily and readily you can celebrate their differences, they might get the hint.

Switched on people,

I'm a big guy. I am in high school and I'm over 6 foot tall already. I weight about 300 pounds and it's mostly muscle. I'm on the football team and wrestling. I'm no couch potato. But my parents can never leave me alone about my weight. They are both very slim and they just seem to think I'm messing my life up completely. Just once, I would like to have a conversation with my parents, whom I love, that isn't about my weight.

Signed,
Isn't there something else?

Dear ITSE,

You are right. There is something else in the world. And while it's great that your parents care about you and your life and your habits, it is maybe not so great that they are driving you insane. One of the things that parents do sometimes when they feel like they're not being listened to, is to talk louder and longer. This isn't talking smarter as you've probably figured out. It's just MORE. One of the things YOU may be able to do is to take a little control of the conversation. If you were to call a family meeting about this and come to some sort of agreement with your parents, they may be satisfied that you are listening and be able to talk about other things the rest of the time. A good example of a compromise might be that you agree to stay under a certain BMI and weight, meeting once a week with your parents and following a diet that your doctor approves. If your parents would agree to compromise on this, they may feel like they are being heard. They they might find something else to talk about.