Letters from the Switched on "The School Grades Issue" issue

Switched-on,

I get halfway decent grades most of the time. In most classes I'm getting As and Bs. Lately, though, I've been bringing home Cs and I don't know why. A certain class that used to be easy for me just seemed to jump up and get really hard. I know my parents are going to go ballistic about this. What can I do?


Signed,
Stupid

Dear Stupid,

First of all, we've never said this before but if you can, read the front story here about the grade fairy. You don't have to believe in fairies if you don't want to. Some classes are going to be easy and some hard for every person. If we were all the same, teaching would be easy. But even in classes, some parts are going to be easy and some hard. If you have a chance to, confront your teacher and let him or her know that this part of what is going on is causing some trouble for you. It could be something simple he or she is not laying out the right way. Or it could be something that the rest of the class is feeling, too. You don't have to sit there all by yourself and try to figure out how to get over this hump. You can get help.

Switched On folks,

I know this is weird, but I'm in all honors and AP college classes. I always have been. My parents are used to me being in the top of my class and in the hardest classes. My whole life has been about school so far. What they may not know is how hard it has always been. I don't think I'm natively the smartest person out there. I've worked really hard for every A I've ever gotten. Now I'm going to be a senior and I'd actually like to have a social life. I really want to take fewer classes and spend some time learning about what I like to do. How do I tell this to my parents?

Signed,
Backing off now

Dear BON,

That sounds like a hard situation. Living up to other people's expectations is never easy. You may find, when you talk to your parents, though, that if you lay it out reasonably like you did here, that you can find answers together. Senior year is an important time, with college just around the corner. Maybe you and your parents can come to a deal where you take time after high school to enjoy a richer social life before college or attend a college that lets you slow down a little and enjoy yourself more. Or maybe they will understand your need to slow down right away and have good answers for how you can do that and still safeguard the future that you worked so hard for. One way or the other, it's not your parents' life you are living right now- it's your own. They can guide you and help you find answers but they are not responsible for who you are or who you want to be. At the end of the day this is going to be your choice. Maybe taking it slow and getting the input of your parents, counselors, friends, etc. is the way to go.

Dear Switched onies,

I am 16 and I go to a Catholic High School. I really want to bring my grades up right now and get into a good college. I admit that my choice of friends doesn't make this too clear. They just want to party and have fun and I knew that when I started hanging out with them. They haven't changed- I have. Is there any way to focus a little more if no one else wants to help you?

Signed,
Alone

Dear Alone,

Sorry you have to feel alone. The truth is that you may not be. Some of your friends may be going through the same evolution in their heads right now, wondering if there is anything out there that they can commit to and build to make a better life for them. I know, that's going to sound like "Blah blah blah" to some people. Your friends may think that. One or two of them might be thinking like you, though, and afraid to say it. It's really difficult to be the first person in a group to stand up and say something, but it does make it a lot easier to be the second one. If you tell your friends and they still don't get it, you may want to get a jump on your school experience and find new friends who get your priorities. This doesn't mean ditching your old friends all the time. It may just mean finding one or two new people who can help you get where you want to be.