Letters from the Switched on "Growing Up" issue

Dear Switched-On,

I'm a little apprehensive about my future. I have no idea what to do with my life, like career-wise.

-Confused

Dear Confused,

While we're not career counselors, there are some things you could do to help decide what you want to do in the future. What activities do you like to do? What are your interests? Make a list of those activities and those interests and see if there's a pattern. For example, you might find that you like working with children. Careers that focus on children could be something to consider. If you're still having trouble finding a good career choice or a set of career choices, talk to a guidance counselor at school.

Signed,
Switched-On

dear Switched-On,

i don't really know what you mean by "growing up." i know some adults who act like they're still 5. i would hardly call that growing up. then again, there are some kids i know who act like they're 21. what makes some people more "grown up" than others? is it just age or what?

-Liz

Dear Liz,

Growing up for most people is the process of maturity. For some people, they may never have truly gone through that process. It can take a significant event in someone's life to make them "grown up," or it can take a gradual course and take years to complete. A person who is seen as more "grown up" might be someone who acts more mature; age isn't always a sign of maturity, so someone who is seen as more "grown up" isn't necessarily older.

Signed,
Switched-On

Dear Switched On,

My mother doesn't really believe I'm mature enough or responsible enough to live independently. She always checks on me when I'm out with my friends, and doesn't really want me to live on-campus in the college I'm attending. She can't really stop me as I'm already 18, but I don't want her to feel bad or anything. How can I convince her that I'm mature enough to be independent? I mean, I hold my own job, I'm even paying for some of my college fees. I don't really understand how she keeps wanting to hold me back.

-Eric

Dear Eric,

It appears that your mother isn't so much thinking of you as immature or lacking in a sense of responsibility as she is wanting to hold onto you. You're at the age where you're about to go off into the real world (or at least, close to it), and it seems like your mother is having trouble adjusting to that. Try talking to her about how she feels about you leaving off to college; is it really about trusting you or her not wanting to see her child leave? Many parents have trouble adjusting to their adult children being independent people, living out of their childhood homes. If you try confronting these feelings, you and your mother might be able to work something out so that she can still feel connected to you in some way once you are away from home.

Signed,
Switched-On