Letters from the Switched on "Smoking" issue

Dear Switched-on,

I have been smoking for the last year and a half, and part of my New Years resolution is to quit. Problem is that it is hard to quit something when most of your friends smoke, too. Almost every time we hang out they start smoking and sometimes it is really hard to concentrate on anything else but smoking. I just feel that my friends are a constant reminder of what I am trying to give up. I really do not want to start smoking again, but I also do not want to be a pain to my friends.

-Katie

Dear Katie,

It sounds like you have decided that smoking was something that was not beneficial to you for whatever reasons, but now you have to deal with the fallout of your decision. We choose our friends because we have many things in common, and in your case, smoking was one of those things. We do not always agree on everything with our friends so try looking at why you became friends in the first place. In addition, talking to them about the situation might probably help you be more comfortable around them and letting them know what you are feeling.

-Switched-On

Dear switched-on,

My parents smoke all the time. They smell like smoke, my house smells like smoke, and even I am starting to reek of it. I really wish they would stop because it is not good for them and I am sick of all the smoke in my life. They are my parents so I really cannot tell them what to do, but I cannot stand it anymore.

-JC

Dear JC,

Your parents are adults and they are free to make their own decisions about whether or not they should smoke. They also need to be respectful of you and aware of the health risk it poses for you. Informing your parents about your feelings towards their habits and the health aspect of it might help your family come to a compromise about the smoking arrangements. You may not be able to convince them against smoking, but you have the right to protect yourself from the affects of secondhand smoke.

-Switched-On

Dear switch on,

My friend started smoking this year, and I do not know what I should do or how I should be reacting to it. I have known her since the 5th grade and the whole smoking thing came out of nowhere. No matter where we are or what we are doing, she is always looking for a chance to smoke. Some teachers have caught her during lunch and almost by the police a couple times. I have though about telling her parents because I am worried about her and they might be able to do something. Then again, I also do not want to betray her trust and jeopardize our friendship.

-A Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend,

It sounds like you are really worried about your long time friend, but afraid to violate her trust. Talking to her first instead of her parents may be the best course of action especially so I does not seem like you are gong behind her back. Maybe talking to her about why she decided to smoke might put things in perspective for you, and you can understand more about the situation. Trying to force her to change is not what you want to do because it might be met with aggression so be empathetic to her feeling and think about possible compromises.

-Switched-On