Letters from the Switched on "The Art Issue" issue

Dear Switchy,

Some people think that it should be easy to sit down and talk about the problems you are having in your life, especially with your parents, but it's not that easy. For me, they are the hardest people to talk to. I have no one I can go and talk to. A lot of times I thought about running away. I have also gone missing after school when I just couldn’t go home and do nothing. I feel like there is something inside of me and it’s about to explode. Whatever it is, I am pretty sure no one wants any part of it. I don’t know what it can be, either, and I just feel like the whole world is inside me. What can I do?


Signed,
Boom

Dear Boom,

It sounds like you need someone to talk to, more importantly LISTEN. That's why we're here. I hate to jump the gun here but the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-RUNAWAY is always there to listen to what is inside you. Beyond that, since you write, I was wondering something. How are you so sure that no one wants any part of what’s inside you? I bet that the greatest artists of all time all thought that at one point or another. There are a huge number of “what-ifs” that could be asked here. What if you are full of ideas and they need a way to get free? What if you are full of experiences and they need to get out? What if you are overwhelmed with something brilliant or universally important and you just need some way to get it out? There are hundreds of ways to get some of this out. Obviously, talking and writing, painting, music, building, etc. You never know if what is inside you isn’t exactly what someone else needs to hear- or see- or understand, just to make their OWN situation makes sense. What if you thought that what was inside you was valuable to communicate- really valuable. Would that change how you thought about expressing it?

Switched On,

My home situation is driving my crazy I can't take it. My parents expect me to do everything from cleaning my room to cleaning the house all on my own without leaving it. My dad is a complete jerk and treats me like a retarded person who should have no rights to do anything. And why is this? Because our counselor at school showed them some of my art and suggested that I MIGHT be depressed. I am not depressed, not suicidal. I just like dark subjects. Isn’t Clive Barker a happy enough guy? Someone get me out of prison.

Signed,
Cell block 1

Dear 1,

Thanks for writing and thanks for the picture. It sounds like you are way frustrated. The hard part is that you probably know your parents aren’t trying to be bad guys, they are just confused and worried. They may not know how to treat the things you love unless they have a chance to see them the way you do. The truth is that they are probably going to have to see something they understand in order to feel comfortable. Something like a private family-only art show where you showed them the art that you enjoy and love and explained what it meant to you may get them to understand you better. Maybe if they see you happy and engaged, interested and having fun, they would realize that a dark interest can be just that and no more. Your mention of Clive Barker and other artists like that may help as well. If they see that there are other people out there who do this sort of thing and still have fun, positive, uplifting lives, they may be able to relax a little. My guess is that that is the kind of life they want you to have. If you clearly wanted the same thing, that might mean a lot.

Peoples,

My parents don't seem to understand the type of person I am. Ever since 7th grade I've had my long hair, and my style of clothes and music. I have been attempting to get dread locks the past two years and my parents are very against it. They thing is, my dad drinks a lot, never hits me but yells a lot. He makes me feel like I don't deserve to even live. I am determined to get dread locks but I know I am out of here if I do. I am to the point where I might just do it and leave. I want to be who I am. Art, Music, Hair, etc. My parents think that exactly one kind of hair and music and clothing and art are acceptable.

Signed,
Not fitting in.

Dear fitting,

Sorry about that. It sounds like your dad's opinions on these issues are very black and white. It also sounds like they are very different than your opinions on the same things. One of the things that the National Runaway Switchboard can do to help, if you want, is to get on the phone with you and talk for a while, then call your dad with you in a 3 way call. They may be able to help you explain yourself better to your dad or, at the very least, come up with a reasoned, realistic compromise. I know that might sound crazy but it's remarkable sometimes how reasonable someone can be when there is another person there to pay attention to it. Also, if you have other family members you respect you might be able to enlist their aid in helping you explain who you are. Even if he is so different, he may want to understand, too.